True Spiritual Community

I'm reading a book right now called Becoming a True Spiritual Community by Larry Crabb. I'm reading with some other ladies and we are all chiming in on a friends blog on what we thought about it. I'm only on the first chapter, but the book is all about how healing can take place through true spiritual community, and I'm not talking about the have a bible study, drink a little coffee, but never share my true struggles kind of community. Having experienced both the shallow kind as well as the deep intimate community where accountability, healing, and love abound myself, I've realized the latter is quite rare. I saw that I've experienced it, but I'm not experiencing it currently and I feel that gap. I want it back. True spiritual community is more like group therapy really. It's messy, its real, its hard, but man is it worth it. The bible is so relational but often we find ourselves settling for a substitute community that might be nice, but really doesn't meet that deep need for true spiritual community. Since Larry Crabb is a Christian Counselor he often relates a lot of what he says back to counseling and on what it means to be therapeutic in our spiritual lives. And I guess what all this relates back to is how our lives and the lives of our clients are deeply effected by the people we are surrounded by. I've always said that  co-workers can make or break a job. Likewise, having a good loving family can mean the difference of life and death even. When we know that we aren't alone and that there are people that we are allowed to be our true selves around, great things can happen, no matter how young or old you are. So perhaps its time for you and myself for that matter to take the risk and be vulnerable the experience true spiritual community.

Thankfulness

I've been thinking about being thankful today and how the attitude of thankfulness often directly leads to happiness.  Our culture today is amazed by so little. We take so many things for granted and somewhere between childhood and the teenage years we loose the sense of wonder and awe that can make us thankful and appreciate what we have and the world we live in. I hear so many stories about kids and teenagers that can't handle the word "No" and who "couldn't live without my phone/ipad/tablet/etc." As well as kids who come to EXPECT the next video game, toy, or electronic device and therefore are not thankful for it because they expected it. When we begin to understand that we are blessed beyond measure just to have running water, then we become thankful for everything and it leads to us feeling happy and blessed more often. I have a friend who does a lot of thankfulness posts on her blog and she talks a lot about how that spirit of giving thanks puts our lives into perspective and changes our attitude almost immediately. So practically speaking, what are you thankful for? What are you amazed by? What have you been taking for granted? I think its this positive psychology that can also be helpful for us to use with clients. When is the last time you asked a client what they were thankful for? or your kids for that matter?

Ok, I'll start and leave you with a few things I am thankful for today! I am thankful for this computer that I type on and that it works well. I am thankful for my husband and my family but more specifically today I am thankful for my husbands discipline and wisdom when I lack it. I am amazed that people all over the world have the capability of reading these words (not that it would happen, lol) but really think about it, the internet is an amazing thing and we take it for granted. Just 10-20 years ago we did not have the capability to connect with so many people all over the globe as quickly and efficiently as we do now. Really, it amazes me. I am also thankful for my dog, whose cuddles bring so much joy to my life. Lastly for today, I'm thankful for ice and refrigeration. I can drink cold drinks and not everyone in the world has that privilege.

One thing that always helps me more thankful is to remember those in the world who are less fortunate. The picture below is from some of my travels in Africa.

Bathing outdoors in a washtub, but happy as can be! 

Play Therapy . . . it actually works!

I'm gonna tell you a little story about Play Therapy. Keep in mind this story is about an actual client I had so I have to keep details to a minimum. Sometimes when doing play therapy it is easy to start to wonder what the difference is between play therapy and just play. It can start to look, feel, and even sound the same to anyone watching, and to the therapist you can start to wonder if you are actually helping or just playing with a little kids for fun.

I had a young client who came to me with suspect of some abuse, possibly sexual, and who likely witnessed some domestic violence as well. They were in a safe stable environment when they came to see me,  but having some behavioral and emotional issues that are common for children who have come from abusive situations. I began doing some play therapy with this client and it was actually fun. They were sociable, playful, talkative, and just plain cute so I always looked forward to them coming in. In the midst of the play therapy some stories and themes were obviously related and the client was able to work some of those things out and I could speak to those issues through their play, but there was one story that was always present every week. No matter what else played out, there was always this one thing that would happen in the story that I couldn't figure out. It was random and seemed unrelated to everything else. The weeks went by and while things did start to improve with this client, this story was still present in the play every time. I kinda figured there was something to it, but I waited and didn't come out and ask, which I am glad I did. One week while acting out this story, they stopped mid play and told me what the story meant and how it related to their life. The light went off, Ah hah! There it was, it made so much sense now, and here is the best part. After that, I only saw the client 2-3 more times and they never played that story again. They improved significantly and no longer needed counseling services. Amazing, right! Almost textbook perfect. They processed this event in there life and it took several months, but once they had processed it, they moved on!

You read about how play therapy works and how children use it to process traumatic events and to just process life. As a therapist you use it to help them process these things and to help them rewrite a happy ending. It was so helpful for me to actually see it work.  While it just felt like playing, to that young client it was a part of the healing. Sometimes I wish it was that easy for adults, that we (or I) could be that resilient and process our life through play. Then again we sometimes do, but through experience, life, and our relationships.

On that note, I went camping this weekend and being outdoors is typically the way I process my life. I feel more at peace with God and myself when I'm in nature, so I'll leave you with a picture from my trip. It was taken at a beautiful place called Grayson Highlands State Park in Virginia. Please feel free to comment below on your own play therapy success stories or perhaps how you like to process things in your life.

Introduction

Well I've started a blog. I've thought about it for some time on how it would be fun to create one that I can use to write, think out loud, share ideas, share thoughts, and try to share some skills from my own experience of counseling children and their families. So here goes.

 Let me first introduce myself. My name is Lauren McAllister, I'm 31 and I am married to my sexy husband Joshua and for now we have a big white lab named jake who is our only child . . . and he is spoiled as such. We would like to have kids at some point, but for now we are waiting. We live in East TN where we are both from. I LOVE my job! I truly do. I feel liked I was called by God to be a counselor and while it can certainly be hard at times, I really do love my job and will be satisfied doing this for a long time. I work with children and families as a Licensed Professional Counselor and I work in a community agency.

My plan is to use this blog to share ideas about counseling as well as my own thoughts and bits of advice. There may also be a lot of other random stuff related to my life and hobbies such as crafting, backpacking, hiking, and mentoring. I also plan to write some about my faith in God and how He is changing, growing, and calling me.